There are a lot of things to hate about the internet, more specifically social media. However, we cannot deny the beneficial things it brings. One of those things being that knowledge and information are available in seconds, for free! There are a myriad of websites/groups/pages/channels dedicated solely to disseminating helpful, insightful and uplifting messages and information.
You will come across great reminders and quotes while scrolling through Instagram/Facebook, or Snapchat. One such quote that really made me ponder upon parenting is this quote:
Speak to your children as if they are the wisest, kindest, most beautiful and magical humans on earth, for what they believe is what they will become.
That quote, to me, was good parenting summed up! As parents we stress about many things, forgetting to consider at times, the most important thing to a child’s well-being: his/her psychological and emotional well-being. Many of us worry about their education, future jobs, friendships, marriages etc. While all of that is important, what’s even more important is how we TREAT our children in the present time.
How do we make our children feel? Are we supportive, tolerant, patient, kind and loving? This is what is at the heart of exceptional parenting—and most of us know this fact. However, when we are in the midst of raising children every everyday—experiencing all the challenges that come with it, it is easy to forget. You will find yourself at times shouting, belittling, or getting annoyed with your child without intending to.
In the article “How to Decipher the Emotions Behind Your Child’s Behaviors,” authors Jessica Borelli and Jocelyn Lai suggest that you as a parent should, “Pause to reflect on your child’s thoughts and feelings.” They further explain,
“When your child is exhibiting a behavior that is perplexing or upsetting to you, pause to allow yourself to think of all the different potential internal explanations for this behavior, such as the thoughts, feelings, or desires your child might have. Here, it is important to remember that often our emotions are layered, such that we may show one feeling but are actually experiencing others.”
How we treat and talk to our children is what will make them grow up to either be confident, content, emotionally healthy adults, or struggling, confused adults who will have to work very hard to get over the complex childhood trauma they endured as children.
May Allah the almighty give us the knowledge, patience and determination to be good parents. Ameen.
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