Homeschooling and Self-Doubt

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As parents, some of us struggle with insecurities that make us feel as if we are not doing enough for our children even when we’re trying our best. As a homeschooling mother I believe it’s even worse for me. There are days I’m gripped with worry— insecure and doubtful in my abilities to homeschool my kids, I wonder if I’m ruining their future by doing so. I ask myself—what if what I’m doing with them right now is just not good enough? What if they’re behind other children their age, academically and socially? (As much as I try to avoid comparing them to other kids, sometimes I still do, unfortunately!). 

Homeschooling Statistics

A large number of people around the world are turning to homeschooling—It’s estimated that over three million children (k-12) were homeschooled in the last school year alone. There is an abundance of resources out there for homeschooling families. I know there are many benefits to homeschooling, and yet, I still have my doubts from time to time—I try to ignore such feelings most days and keep it under control. But as human beings, I guess we cannot always avoid feelings of worry, insecurity and self-doubt.

The Ayah that Comforted My Heart

One morning, after fajr, I was reciting sura Al-Baqarah and I came across the this Ayah:

As soon as I read that ayah, I felt as if Allah was telling me not worry about the worldly affairs of my children and to focus on the most important thing—to teach them the importance of worshiping Allah (sw) by studying and implementing Islam. One of the main reasons I even started home schooling my children was to be able to teach them about Islam as they grow so to strengthen their Muslim identity. But I kind of lost sight of that in my descent to what ifs and thinking too far ahead into the future. When I saw this ayah, it brought me back to my ‘why’ for homeschooling and brought me peace of mind. 

What Will You Worship after I’m gone?

Prophet Ya’qub (alayhi salaam), at the time of his death, didn’t ask his sons about anything else except: “what will you worship after I’m gone?” As Muslims, isn’t this what our main concern and worry should be for our children? But we are forgetful humans, and so we worry about our children’s future careers, spouses, homes, if they’ll be successful or not etc. to the point of almost panicking.

As long as we try our best to guide our children by connecting them to Allah through Islam as much as we can and leave the rest to Allah, things will, InshaaAllah, workout great. As Allah said,

..So whoever disbelieves in ṭāghūt and believes in Allah has grasped the most trustworthy handhold with no break in it. And Allah is Hearing and Knowing.”

Qur’an 2:256
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